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quinta-feira, 30 de dezembro de 2010

Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done.
One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend.
This he did. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother. "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured 'Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch. This was when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick-a big eel ;had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When Sis saw it, she got really scared-her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down at he lake by our house! Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting again. Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them. After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats- they have nine lives or something. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet.
A man was pulled over for speeding down the highway, the officer came to the drivers window and said, "Sir, may I see your drivers license and registration?" The man said, "Well officer I don't have a license, it was taken away for a DUI." The officer, in surprise, said," What, do you have a registration for the vehicle?" So the man replied, "No sir, the car is not mine I stole it, but I am pretty sure I say a registration card in the glove box when I put the gun in it." The officer stepped back, "There is a gun in the glove box?!?" The man sighed and said, "Yes sir, I used to kill the woman who owns the car before I stuffed her in the trunk." The officer steps toward the back of the car and says," Sir do not move, I am calling for backup." The officer calls for backup and about ten minutes another highway patrolman arrives. He walks up to the window slowly and asks the man for his driver’s license and registration. The man said," Yes officer here it right here." It all checked out so the officer said," Is there a gun in the glove box sir?" The man laughs and says," No officer why would there be a gun in the glove box." He opened the glove box and showed him that there was no gun. The second officer asked him to open the trunk because he had reason to believe that there was a body in it. The man agrees and opens the trunk, no dead body. The second officer says, "Sir I do not understand, the officer that pulled you over said that you did not have a license, the car was stolen, there was a gun in the glove box, and a dead body in the trunk." The mans looks the officer in the eyes and says, "Yeah and I'll bet he said I was speeding too."
A blonde walks into a doctor's office and tells the doctor she's broken every single bone in her body. "That's impossible!" says the doctor. The blonde says, "No, it's really true. Look!" She then touches her leg with her index finger and screams "Ouch!" Then she touches her arm and yells "Eeeeoooow!" Finally she touches her ribs and can barely maintain her composure as the tears start to roll down her face. She says, "See, I told you I broke every bone in my body." The doctor rubs his chin, and then conducts a thorough examination. "Well, miss," he tells her, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, you haven't broken every bone in your body. The bad news is, you've broken your finger."


She was standing in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only the "T" shirt that she normally slept in. As he walked in almost awake, she turned and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment."  His eyes lit up and he thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day." Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then gave it his all; right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her "T" shirt still around her neck. A little puzzled, he asked, "What was that all about?" She explained, "The egg timer's broken.


0000000


"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies.""Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend."
"Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?"
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.""Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative.""Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
"A watchdog is a dog kept to guard your home, usually by sleeping where a burglar would awaken the household by falling over him."







"In dog years, I'm dead."
"A dog is not 'almost human,' and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such."
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul--chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
The reason a dog has so many friends is that
 he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
 Anonymous
Don't accept your dog's admiration as
 conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
 Ann Landers
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I
 die I want to go where they went.
 Will Rogers
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a
 puppy licking your face.
 Ben Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves
 you more than he loves himself.
 Josh Billings
The average dog is a nicer person than the
average person.
Andy Rooney
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can
spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs
give us their all. It's the best deal man has
ever made.
M. Acklam
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies,
quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure
love and always have to mix love and hate.
Sigmund Freud
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to
turn around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley
Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they
keep abreast of current events. The ground is a
giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of
late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are
especially urgent, are often continued in the
next yard.
Dave Barry
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes
like never washed a dog.
Franklin P. Jones
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain
dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few
persons.
James Thurber
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough
exercise.
Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up
to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
Joe Weinstein
Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here
we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing
haul - chicken, pork, half a cow.
They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
Anne Tyler
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs
should relax and get used to the idea.
Robert A. Heinlein
Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman.
Dave Miliman
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous,
he will not bite you; that is the principal difference
between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will
give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never
would've thought of that!'
Dave Barry
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make
our lives whole.
Roger Caras
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits
in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
Phil Pastoret
My goal in life is to be as good of a person
my dog already thinks I am.


DOG RULES

1. The dog is not allowed in the house.
2. Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
3. The dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture.
4. The dog can get on the old furniture only.
5. Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
6. Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.
7. The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.
8. The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only.
9. The dog can sleep under the covers every night.
10. Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.


Life Lessons Learned from a Dog
*                  If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.
*                  Don't go out without ID.
*                  Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes.
*                  Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.
*                  Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.
*                  Always give people a friendly greeting. A cold nose in the crotch is effective.
*                  When you do something wrong, always take responsibility
(as soon as you're dragged out from under the bed).
*                  If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.

The Top Ten Reasons Why a Dog Is Better than a Woman.

*                  10. A dog's parents will never visit you.
*                  9. A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.
*                  8. A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.
*                  7. A dog never expects you to telephone.
*                  6. A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.
*                  5. A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life.
*                  4. A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog.
*                  3. A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day.
*                  2. The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.

*                   ...And the number one reason why a dog is better than a woman:
*                 
*                  1. A dog does not shop.

Top Ten Reasons Why Dogs Are Better Than Men

*                  Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
*                  Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.
*                  Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
*                  Dogs think you are a culinary genius.
*                  You can house train a dog.
*                  Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
*                  Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
*                  Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
*                  Dogs don't care whether or not you shave your legs.
Dogs obsess about you as much as you obsess about them.

If tomorrow starts without me.....

If Tomorrow Starts Without Me








'If tomorrow starts without me,

And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind,
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all that we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me
From His great golden throne,
He said, 'This is eternity,
And all I've promised you.
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way,
There's no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
You knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven,
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand,
And share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.'

quarta-feira, 29 de dezembro de 2010

cool YOUTUBE .....

La Bamba

Oh! Carol - Neil Sedaka

Paul Anka - Diana (1957)

The Platters Unchained Melody http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UskkwKmccGU


U2 - Unchained Melody

Oh Carol Neil Sedaka

Put Your Head On My Shoulder. Paul Anka. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVmzCuE8Z58

Paul Anka medley

Earl Grant - The End

GOLDEN 60s Part 1

Beatles - Medley Mid-60s Hits

TOP TEN BEATLES SONGS

Jambalaya (On The Bayou)

What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong

Frank Sinatra - As Time Goes By (Casablanca)


Louis Armstrong - When The Saints Go Marching In

Louis Armstrong - What A Wonderful World

Doris Day - Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Doris Day - Que Sera Sera

Jose Feliciano - Feliz Navidad

Jose Feliciano - Malaguena

Jose Feliciano - Zorba The Greek

Jose Feliciano - Light My Fire

Jose Feliciano - California Dreamin'

Celly Campelo - Estúpido cupido (Ensaio)

Celly Campello - Banho De Lua

BIQUINI DE BOLINHAS AMARELINHAS

Banho de Lua - Anos 60

ESTUPIDO CUPIDO - CELLY CAMPELLO

Olha o Passo do Elefantinho - Trio Esperança

FESTA DO BOLINHA - TRIO ESPERANÇA ANOS60/70

Trio Esperança - Bolinha de sabão

Trio Esperança - Filme triste

ritmo da chuva

A Praça - Ronnie Von

Ronnie Von nos 50 Anos da Rede Record pt.3

Súplica Cearense Jericoacoara - 2006

CHUVA FINA - TRIO ESPERANÇA


Aquarela do Brasil - Trio Esperança

Evinha, Trio Esperança e Golden Boys naTV

Toquinho em A casa, O pato e O caderno

Fagner -- Súplica Cearense - Vídeo Oficial

Fagner -- Mucuripe –

Fagner - Último Pau-de-Arara - Clipe Oficial

Dorival Caymmi "O que é que a bahiana tem"

Maracangalha

Tom Jobim e Dorival Caymmi - Saudade da Bahia

O mar - Dorival Caymmi

Maria Bethânia canta Dorival Caymmi (1969)

Maria Bethânia - Carcará (1965)

opinião nara leão

Nara Leão - Pout-pourri de músicas (TV Record)

Dueto - Chco Buarque & Nara Leão

Chico Buarque e Gilberto Gil - Cálice censurado

Chico Buarque – Construção

Chico Buarque - Chega de Saudade

Gal Costa - Chega de Saudade

Milton Nascimento e Jobim Trio - CHEGA DE SAUDADE

Secos e Molhados (Ney Matogrosso) - O Vira


Vander Marcovecchio - Bandido Corazon - Ney Matogrosso

Ney Matogrosso – Bandoleiro

Ney Matogrosso - Clip Homem com H – Fantástico

Ney Matogrosso e Moreira Silva - Na Subida do Morro

Tico-tico no fubá (Ney Matogrosso-Batuque)

Ney Matogrosso Babalu!

Ney Matogrosso - Som Brasil - Canta Chalana.

Almir Sater & Sergio Reis – Chalana

Modinha Para Gabriela

Fafá de Belém canta Ave Maria para o Papa João Paulo II

Ave Maria - Pavarotti (Tradução)

Ave Maria, Gratia Plena – Bocelli


Celine Dion - Ave Maria

Charlotte Church Ave Maria

Charlotte Church - amazing Grace

Charlotte Church "The Little Drummer Boy"

Dominguinhos, Sivuca, Oswaldinho e Luiz Gonzaga

Luiz Gonzaga - Fagner - " Asa Branca "

Assum Preto (Luiz Gonzaga/Humberto Teixeira) - Cristina Motta

Pouporri-Luiz Gonzaga


Elba Ramalho e Luiz Gonzaga, ultimo show do Rei na TV

Elba Ramalho e José Dumont em Morte e Vida Severina

Hawaiian Wedding Song - Hawaiian Dance


Tony Bennett - I left my heart in San Francisco




Hawaiian Music - Kaleohano Israel Kamakawiwo'ole – IZ

Bolero - Ravel Pt.1
Part I  Film
Part II  Film



Ray Charles - I Can´t Stop Loving You


Joe Cocker - Unchain my Heart [1987]

With A Little Help From My Friends – Beatles

elvis presley blue suede shoes


nat king cole
Nat King cole - Love is a Many Splendored Thing



2001 A Space Odyssey Opening

On the beautiful Blue Danube - By Zubin Mehta

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTqlLKBKFhg



Jorge Ben Jor - Mas que nada


Daniela Mercury – Rapunzel