My first job ............

 1.

My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.
  
  
  2.

Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
  
  
  3.

After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
  
  
  4.

Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
  
  
  5.

Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.
  
  
  6.

Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it.... couldn't cut the mustard.
  
  
  7.

My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.
  
  
  8.

I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.
  
  
  9.

Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.
  
  
  10.

I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.
  
  
  11.

Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
  
  
  12.

So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job..
  
  
  13. 

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.
  
  14.

My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.   
  
  

15. 

SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!