My first job ............

 1.

My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.
  
  
  2.

Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
  
  
  3.

After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
  
  
  4.

Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
  
  
  5.

Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.
  
  
  6.

Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it.... couldn't cut the mustard.
  
  
  7.

My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.
  
  
  8.

I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.
  
  
  9.

Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.
  
  
  10.

I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.
  
  
  11.

Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
  
  
  12.

So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job..
  
  
  13. 

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.
  
  14.

My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.   
  
  

15. 

SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB! 

How To Succeed At Work And In Career ...........

 

1. Don’t talk negatively about people behind their backs. If you gossip, people won’t confide in you. Mind your own business.

2. Try to work for someone who’ll challenge your powers. You’ll learn more in a year than 4 years of college.

3. Successful bosses have good communication skills. They learn from people, including their employees.

4. Work in such a way that makes your boss look good. It’s not flattery.

5. On downsizing, the first to go are those with few friends. Bosses prefer competent people whom they respect.

6. Dress for the job you want, not the one you have. Let your dress reflect professionalism.

7. Workout to get in good physical shape. Unless exceptionally skilled, the unhealthy are at a comparative disadvantage.

8. Personal integrity is crucial. Tell nothing but the truth. Bosses can forgive mistakes but if you lie, you’re gone.

9. Be on time. Try to arrive few minutes early. It saves you from stress. You’ll be much relaxed & work better.
10. Strive your best to keep a deadline. If you cannot meet it, then apologize & ask for an extension

11. Don’t take things personally. If some people are unhappy with you, it’s their problem. But always strive to give your best.

12. If you must correct someone, don’t get personal about it. Do it never in front of others.

13. Spend some time alone everyday. What’s the mission of my life? What do I want to be? And how to go about it.

14. As you move along Plan A of your career, maintain a Plan B as well — an alternative course to rely

15. Always remember that the secret of success is passion. Always think big. Spread love & joy. You’ll have blissful years ahead.