I must see .........

http://www.cultureunplugged.com/play/1081/Chicken-a-la-Carte

The PLANE ..........

A blind man was flying in a small plane with his brother, the pilot, when his brother suddenly clutched his chest and died.

After finally finding the radio, the blind man called for help and was answered by an air traffic controller at a nearby airport.

"You've got to help me! I'm totally blind, the pilot of this plane is dead, and we are flying upside down!"

The air traffic controller answered "I understand that the pilot is dead and you are blind, but if you are blind how do you know

that you are flying upside down?"

"Because I have shit running up my neck!!!"

When life gives you lemon............

When life gives you lemons,
throw them back and demand chocolate.

 

 

 

 

 

A man is sitting at home on the veranda with his wife and he says, "I love you."


She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?"


He replies, "It's me, talking to the beer."

 

 

 

 

A man was sick and tired

of going to work every day

while his wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went

through so he prayed:

'Dear Lord:

I go to work every day and put

in 8 hours while my wife

merely stays at home.

I want her to know what

I go through.

So, please allow her body to

switch with mine for a day. 


God, in his infinite wisdom,

granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough,

the man awoke as a woman...

He arose, cooked breakfast

for his mate,

Awakened the kids,

Set out their school clothes,

Fed them breakfast,

Packed their lunches,

Drove them to school,

Came home and picked

up the dry cleaning,

Took it to the cleaners

And stopped at the bank

to make a deposit,  

Went grocery shopping,

Then drove home to put

away the groceries,  

Paid the bills and balanced

the check book.

He cleaned the cat's litter box

and bathed the dog..

Then, it was already 1 P.M.

And he hurried to make the beds,

Do the laundry, vacuum,

Dust, And sweep and mop

the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up

the kids and got into an argument

with them on the way home.

Set out milk and cookies and

got the kids organized to do

their homework.

Then, set up the ironing board

and watched TV while he

did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling

potatoes and washing

vegetables for salad,

breaded the pork chops

and snapped

fresh beans for supper. 

After supper,

He cleaned the kitchen,

Ran the dishwasher,

Folded laundry,

Bathed the kids, And put

them to bed.

At 9 P.M. He was exhausted

and, though his daily chores

weren't finished, he went to

bed where he was expected to

make love, which he managed

to get through without complaint. 

The next morning, he awoke

and immediately knelt by the

bed and said: -

Lord, I don't know what

I was thinking.

I was so wrong to envy my

wife's being able to stay

home all day.

Please, Oh! Please,

let us trade back... Amen!'  
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: 

'My son, I feel you have

learned your lesson and

I will be happy to change

things back to the way

they were.

You'll just have to wait

nine months, though.

You got pregnant last night.' 

How true...........

“To have been angered in argument is,

to have already been defeated.”

Richter Scale ...

The Richter magnitudes are based on a logarithmic scale (base 10).

What this means is that for each whole number you go up on the Richter scale, the amplitude of the ground motion recorded by a seismograph goes up ten times.

Using this scale, a magnitude 5 earthquake would result in ten times the level of ground shaking as a magnitude 4 earthquake (and 32 times as much energy would be released).

To give you an idea how these numbers can add up, think of it in terms of the energy released by explosives: a magnitude 1 seismic wave releases as much energy as blowing up 6 ounces of TNT. A magnitude 8 earthquake releases as much energy as detonating 6 million tons of TNT.