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quarta-feira, 23 de fevereiro de 2011

Have a seat..... relax....





A Birth Certificate shows that we were born 
A Death Certificate shows that we died
 
Pictures show that we live!
 
Have a seat.  
Relax . . . 
click on albuns then pick the set you want to see [first]






sábado, 19 de fevereiro de 2011

Please don't mix these up ................





Dear God,

 
my prayer for 2011 is for a
fat bank account & a thin body.
Please don't mix these up
like you did last year.
AMEN!!!






terça-feira, 15 de fevereiro de 2011

a true friend............

1 When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.
 
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
 
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
 
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
 
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
 
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
 
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again.   I don't want to catch whatever you have.
 
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
 
9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end.  "Why?" you may ask?   Because you are my friend .
 

Friendship is like peeing your pants:
everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.





George Carlin's View on Aging






Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like
to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old,
you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
 "How old are you?" "I'm fourand a half!" You're never
thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five!
That's the key.
 You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You
jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
 "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but
hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your  life ..

 You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . .
 YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
 But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you
sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out.
There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
 You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa!
Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you
REACH 50  And your dreams are gone.
 But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
 So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
 You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that
it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
 You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you
HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't
end there. Into the 90's, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."
 Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you
 become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
 May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
 HOW TO STAY YOUNG
 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight
and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them!"
 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts,
gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind
is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
 4. Enjoy the simple things.
 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
 6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only
person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be
ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family,
pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home
is your refuge.
 8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is
unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve,  get help.
 9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to
the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
 10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
 AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
 Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but
by the moments that take our breath away.
 And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares?
 But do share this with someone.
 We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!
Have a wonderful day!!!!!!!