THE DOT ................

The Dot l  FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP. For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian embassy in Ottawa has recently revealed the true story. When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a taxi cab, or a motel in the United States . If nothing is there, he must remain in India to answer telephones and provide us with technical advice.

You have to watch this video ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyZi-fJ5SyY&feature=player_embedded

M A Y ..............

May there always be work for your hands to do;

May your purse always hold a coin or two;

May the sun always shine on your windowpane;

May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;

May the hand of a friend always be near you;
 

            
 May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

Cowboy rules for ...........

Cowboy rules for Arizona, California, Colorado, Idaho, Montana, Nebraska, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Texas, Utah, Wyoming and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:

Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.  

They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.

No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers!

And there is more............

The COWBOY Solution to save Gasoline.
Mr Obama wants us to cut the amount of gasoline we use.....The best way to stop using so much gasoline is to deport 15 million illegal immigrants! That would be 15 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down.....

Bring our troops home from Afghanistan to guard the borders.... When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the Border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Afghanistan. Tell him if he wants to come to AMERICA then he must serve a tour in OUR military.... Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it......

After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country..... He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal resident..... This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Afghanistan, and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves.......

If they refuse to serve, ship them to Afghanistan anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo. Problem solved.....

Socrates .......

 

 

 

 

 

 

In ancient Greece (469-399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. 
 One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?" 
 "Wait a moment," Socrates replied,

"Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test.

It's called the Triple Filter Test."

'Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance. 

"That's right," Socrates continued,

"Before you talk to me about Diogenes let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth.

Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?" 

"No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it." 

"All right," said Socrates, "So you don't really know if it's true or not.

Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness.

Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?" 

"No, on the contrary..." 

"So," Socrates continued,

"You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you're not certain it's true?" 

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued, "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness.

Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?" 

"No, not really." 

"Well," concluded Socrates,

"If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?" 

The man was bewildered and ashamed.

 

This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was banging his wife.

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you are over 60 ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzSaoN2LdfU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfPgSzcu9RY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YObgy2g-k7A&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggtsOaBkxqA&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnPINGavPP0&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iK2OakMoW_c&feature=related

24 Things To Always Remember............

 

Your presence is a present to the world.
You are unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
Take the days just one at a time.

Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You will make it through whatever comes along.
Within you are so many answers.
Understand, have courage, be strong.

Do not put limits on yourself.
So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Reach for your peak, your goal and you prize.

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
The longer one carries a problem the heavier it gets.
Do not take things too seriously.
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.

Remember that a little love goes a long way.
Remember that a lot goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
Life’s treasures are people together.

Realize that it is never too late.
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Have hearth and hope and happiness.
Take the time to wish upon a start.